Being drunk is like...

reading a book for the second time; you skip over all the things that gave the story a plot.

I like to think of getting drunk as a bit of fun.

Occasionally it's fun you can't remember a lot of, and occasionally it's fun which gets you into a bit of trouble.

Over the last week I've been drunk 3 times - post-exam party, friend's birthday party and a wedding. During these nights I've realised that I'm seriously lacking in something that other people seem to have, and that I was sure I didn't need. That person.

Since I was little (10 years old, to be precise), I've known exactly what I wanted from my future. I knew that I wanted to be a doctor and as difficult as the exams and study were to get there, there were definite steps that I could take in that particular direction to achieve that particular goal. But, I also wanted a family - that dream guy that every girl wants.

I have no idea what steps to take. I can't fathom dedicating another part of my life to another person, when I can barely dedicate enough time to looking after myself, but at the same time I'm desperate to.

I keep getting these chances with boys, who seem genuinely interested and run a mile in the opposite direction. I keep expecting to feel immediately at ease and comfortable in their presence from the word go and when I don't, it bothers me and makes me doubt the future with them.

I hate being drunk because I miss the things that usually distract you from realising what you don't have.